Living where I do, outside the center of the
Universe, otherwise know as New York City

I haven't really had a chance
to date lots of chorus boys.

Wish I had.
I haven't.

Tant pis pour moi.

I have visited New York
Usually in the summer.

When it's hot.
And humid.

And when the -

model
dancer
actor

waiters go shirtless in the city.
It's like pec to pec combat.

That's a war where
everybody wins.

However, when it comes to biceps, if am to
believe what I read in the New York Post...

Star power is what wins
the battle of the biceps.

So, if you go see
A Chorus Line -

The biceps you'll focus on will
belong to Mario Lopez...

And not to -







Nick Adams




Even if his are bigger.
'Cause Nick...

He's been told to
cover up.

Which means, he's
wearing a hoodie.

But -

Hoodies are hot.

Mario though, clearly has
the better dimples.

*

And while it would be great fun to uncover the chorus
boy on a date, currently, I'm not dating chorus boys.

Or television stars with great
biceps and amazing dimples.

What's the phrase?

So many men.
So little time.

*
As for that story in the post, it may be true,
and it may just be public relations hype.

I don't know.

When it comes to men and
time though, I can tell you -

No truer words were
ever spoken.

[Or typed].

So, this song is stuck
in my head -





Sam Sparro - Black and Gold






I wonder, who is it
he's singing to.

[About whom he's singing].

But whatever.

Why, does the song capture my
imagination the way it does?

Is it because it has a good beat
and you can dance to it?

Or -

Does it remind me
of someone?

Is it unlocking doors to memories which
were long ago safely locked away?

And if those doors open, what emotions will
come flooding back into my consciousness?

Despair?
Desire?

Either, is a
possibility.

Then again it could
just be the beat.

The thing with footballers is
that their cocks...

















are constantly











popping out on
the pitch.

But rugby players, they, just get
undressed for the hell of it.

Um...

Yeah, there is rugby video.

I hear that there are actual
porn stars in this video -












I'm pretty sure that I
can pick them out.

I may or may not have
seen their work.

But, this I can tell you
I can't name them.

Which is why
I ask -

Are they really stars?
Or simply...

Guys who work in
the sex trade.

There's a difference.

Angelina Jolie is a star.
Brad Pitt is a star.

But...

Kimora Lee Simmons?
Billy Bob Thornton?

Y'all can debate that one.
For now though...

I'm checking the no box
on those last two.

If I can't answer an outraged
Do you know who I am?

You might not
be a star.

And if you're not the guy
producing the porn.

You may be having
a lot of sex, but -

Chances are, you're not walking
away with a - star salary.

And these days, everyone has
naked photos online.

Wait, probably better to make
that everyone and his brother.

So, with that in mind, until there are at least six zeros to the left
of the decimal point on said porn stars paycheck...

Please kindly refer to him
as a porn actor.

Or more accurately
call him -

a cashier
a waiter

or

unemployed.




Video: Jonny McGovern - Don't Fall In Love With A Homo

Cleigh
Hugo Boss? Come see me, whatever
you paid, I can get it for half.

It was intermission at the Paramount and
Matt and Cleigh were talking suits.

Cleigh
And you...

He meant me. He motioned
for me to turn around.

Cleigh
You look like a
hustler.

Nicky
Rent's due.

Cleigh
Don't be such a smart ass, baby.
You clean up nice.

Nicky
Me and Eliza Doolittle.

Cleigh
Higgins turns her into a lady.
You could do that.

Nicky
But, I'm a boy. I don't
want to be a tranny.


*

Yeah, we saw My Fair Lady.
Seems I was underdressed.

Maybe I could do with
some transformation.

Like this -










only in reverse.
And, with suits.

I didn't so much come out to
my mom as she found out.

She read a letter.
We all have stories.

All of us -










You know mine.
Dites-moi...

*

What's your's?

When I was four I used to ask my mom
to play this one song over and over.

This song -










That was back when they
made vinyl records.

And when there were parties
and dancing at the house.

As long I'm on
the subject -

I'd also ask my mom to play
Tina Turner's Proud Mary.

Oh, and The Jungle Book, by
you know, Walt Disney.

*

The Spinners, though, goes
the best with this post.

'Cause a lot of people
are playing - games.











Gay Chicken.

Have you played?
And...

Would you win?

Spanking the monkey.
Jacking the beanstalk.

Beating off.

Masturbation.
It's -

National Masturbation Month.
So, I'm told anyway.

It's not on my calendar.
I checked.

Turns out you can celebrate it in
the privacy of your own home...

Or at the office -











Did you check
his technique?

Good vocals.

And...

A finger up the ass.

That takes the pleasure
to a whole new level.

Seriously.

We've got a month.
Practice that one.

A'ight.


Love you.
Nicky

That was then...

*

In high school I got in trouble for
constantly adjusting my package.

Brother Morano didn't
like me doing that.

He didn't like me doing
a lot of stuff actually.

I swear, it seemed like every week I was dropping
trou and taking swats for breaking some rule.

Morano always made
me the same deal.

A. Bring my dad in.

or


B. Take the swats.

That was a no brainer.
Take the swats.

Ticking off my dad, that
was not an option.


This is now...

*

Brothers don't swat kids anymore.
It's a new rule or something.

The Church is 2000 years old
and they still have new rules.

Go figure.

And these days, constant adjustments,
they, just land you on the internet -











And as for
my dad -

Yeah, he still
scares me.

[A little].

*

And just out of curiosity, has anyone ever
seen their permanent record, anyone?

Is there something phallic
about this picture -











or is it just me?

It makes me
want to fuck.

Seriously.

*

Am I just unnaturally turned on by Marines
or are they sort of gay?

*

Before you answer listen to
Generation Kill on NPR.

Tell me...

Do marines bone
you up, too?


*

Semper Fi.

See also -
It's What's For Lunch.




Photo via Bill in Exile.